Gator's Five Dollar Milkshake

Jul 01, 2013 -- 11:40am

By: Justin Draughn (justin_draughn)

After a lengthy recruiting trip Will Muschamp and Brent Pease stumble into an off-the-highway diner. The two grab a seat at the counter and quickly study the menu. While gritting his teeth, a low mumble of “steak, steak, steak” escapes the clinches of Muschamp’s mouth. “Ahh, there we go – I’ll have the New York cut steak, extra bloody”.

Coach Pease, a bit calmer in his demeanor casually relays his order to the tired waitress; “I’ll have the deluxe burger, bloody…and a five dollar shake”.

Muschamp breaks away from his custom orange and blue iPhone, interrupting the exchange between Pease and the waitress; “Five Dollar Shake…does that come with bourbon or anything?”

The waitress irritatingly groans… “milk and ice-cream”.

The coaches return to studying their notes as they wait for their meals to arrive. As they sum up their metrics, the two agree, “we definitely have a top five recruiting class here”. While not loaded with five star recruits, the collection of athletes is more than capable of winning a grueling conference schedule – it just lacks the national luster and appeal of a “game changing” recruiting class.

Shortly after the coaches put away their notes for the evening, the waitress arrives with the meals, including the “Five Dollar Shake”. Muschamp slaps the diner table “Alright Brent…I need to taste that shake”. Grabbing a straw from the dispenser, Coach Muschamp eagerly removes the wrapper and plants it in the shake. He takes a long sip, and says “That’s one hell of a milk-shake”. And…that’s where we begin with the 2013 Florida Football recruiting class and upcoming season – simple ingredients can make an outstanding product that carries a great value.

With five star recruits including legacy signing Kelvin Taylor, highly vaunted cornerback Vernon Hargreaves, and an equally impressive stable of standout athletes on both sides of the ball, it’s difficult for optimistic fans not to be excited about the upcoming season. The departure of Dan Quinn to the NFL will more than likely have little impact on the defense, Muschamp has a hold on that side of the ball.

No, the less emotionally driven Gator supporters point to the potential deficiencies on offense – and that’s fair; its been well documented that the Gator’s have struggled with an integral part of the game: scoring.

Not to compare high school highlight packages to division-one college football, but a quick YouTube search of Demarcus Robinson and Ahmad Fulwood should alleviate the concerns of the even the most grounded Gator Fan. If the skills exhibited on the high school field even remotely translate to the college game, then Driskell will finally have a pure threat downfield.

There’s been a notable silence from the Florida camp this off season, well, that is with the exception of assistant coaches throwing out satanic accusations, the national exposure of Joker Phillip’s amazing Photoshop skills, and Antonio “Do you know who I am” Morrison. Even with the accolades of a number-two ranked recruiting class, there seems to be a rather dull buzz around the launch of the season. It may have had something to do with the glorified practice that was the Orange and Blue game, or the lack of glamour shot sessions scheduled at the Alachua County Police Department.

My opinion, its simply due to Florida getting back to its 90’s foundation – a creative offense, complimented by a powerful defense (milk and ice-cream). It’s been no secret the offense has been dialed back; but all indications point to what should be a marked improvement both through the air and on the ground. Right now – on the menu, Florida is a solid Five Dollar Shake, we’ll just have to wait and see how truly tasty it is when they make the week two trip down to South Beach.


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